


Closer

by yumenoyousei



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canonical Character Death, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-08 05:24:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17380409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yumenoyousei/pseuds/yumenoyousei
Summary: It was crazy that even after four years without seeing him, he could still rilled her up as if she was back to being a middle school brat. But it's not like she had a crush on him before or anything.





	1. Part 1 -  Kagura

**Author's Note:**

> As you may or may not realized, this week as been the "let's post everything that was in my computer" week.
> 
> First part is Kagura POV then second part will be Sougo POV
> 
> Title comes from the song by Chainsmokers feat. Halsey because I wrote the first part of this fic, then the song started and I realized that I had made them not talk for 4 years like the song. A total coincidence lol
> 
> Enjoy!

Closer  
Pt.1

 

> _And four years, no call_  
>  _Now I'm looking pretty in a hotel bar_

Kagura wanted to scream and throw something at the wall. Better even if it was him.

She also wanted to pout and ignore her best friend for the next century. How dare she try to hook her up with him, from all people. Just because by a miracle worth of a shoujo manga that Soyo had started to date her brute of a brother that all assholes could turn into a new leaf.

She stared once more at her reflexion. She had to admit, she looked like a complete different person. Soyo's makeup team had done wonders, making her blue eyes pop out even more. Her hair was in a high bun, her bangs and few strands framing her face. Her black dress was designer, the front hidden with lace but with an open back.

She sighed. She looked too good to even hide in the bathroom. One last look and she went out.

He was waiting for her in front of the bathroom. She hated to admit, but he looked good. It showed that the suit had been tailored for him and the dark grey tie matched his hair.

"Done hiding, China?"

How much she would love to punch his pretty face.

It was crazy that even after four years without seeing him, he could still rilled her up as if she was back to being a middle school brat. She was 20 now!

Yet, the moment she had seen him at the start of the party, he had been his never changing asshole saying: “Wow China, a monster will always be a monster” and seriously if Soyo hadn’t restrained her she would’ve punched him at that moment.

It didn’t matter that he was now apparently the prodigy of the police academy, to her he would always be the asshole from the Shimura’s dojo that she used to fight with.

But it was all in the past now. She shouldn't let him get so easily under her skin.

"I was not hiding," she replied, trying her best to keep her cool, "aren't you supposed to stay with Soyo?"

He shrugged. "She said I had to make sure my date was ok."

Yes, Kagura was definitively going to ignore her best friend until the next century.

She huffed and went toward the ballroom when a hand grabbed her arm. "What?"

He only smirked at her, and placed his arm around her waist. "He have to play our part," he whispered in her ear and she hated that she shivered.

Really, what was the point of having a bodyguard if he was supposed to act like any another guest?

They went back the table where Soyo was still talking to whoever was next to her. Her brother looked bored out of his mind and that was the only thing that comforted her.

She still couldn't believe Soyo had brought Kamui as her date.

The party had been one of Shigeshige, Soyo's brother, many charity work after he had been established the president. He was apparently desperate to give a good image after their father had pretty much spent it all on hostesses.

Shigeshige and Soyo were trying to give a new image, and the Sadist had mentioned that bring her "commoner friends" was a great way to make it look good.

While he was supposed to be an undercover bodyguard to Soyo. Kagura's best friend just thought that it would be killing two birds with one stone.

She couldn't believe he had really become a police officer.

The food arrived, interrupting her thoughts. She had, after all, came for the food. And they barely judge her when she asked for a fifth serving as her brother was already at her seventh.

"I see that your gluttony runs in the family," he had once again whispered to her and she really needed him to stop that.

She preferred not answer and finished her plate. Once she sighed in content, she suddenly felt a hand on her knee.

She looked at her right to see that he was talking to Soyo as if he was not doing the most outrageous thing. But it was without a doubt his finger tracing circles on her inner thigh. She ignored the heat pooling in her belly.

"Kagura, are you ok?"

She looked up suddenly at her friend, wanting to scream that her fucking bodyguard was not at all protecting anyone and was just harassing her but once side way look and she stopped.

Even after all those years, Sougo Okita's expression when he was challenging her didn't damn change.

"Yes I'm ok. The food was so good," she said and smiled.

It seemed to reassure Soyo as some random geezer came to talk to congratulate her of her brother's success.

She shot another look side way. The damn asshole was smirking behind his glass of water. She grabbed his thigh and squeezed, hoping he could feel her nails wanting to dig in his skin through his pants.

He jolted, splashing water on his face and she had to stop from crackling evilly.

"Okita-kun?" Soyo said.

"Sorry, water passed by the wrong pipe."

She snorted and he kicked her under the table.

Her brother looked at her, than at her "date" slowly but didn't say anything. Kagura was unsure if he could guess what was going.

The party was getting close to an end and Kagura was ready to call it a night. Though their under table shenanigans had been fun, Kagura cannot wait to back to when the Sadist was only a memory.

"Nobume is here, you really don't need to bring me back home," Soyo said as she was being escorted to the car, "your job is done as soon as I leave the venue."

He bowed.

"Why don't you escort Kagura, instead?"

Kagura was about to refuse when he said: "If you wish."

Kamui did a face, "I don't like this dude near my sister."

Kagura would’ve almost found it cute if she was not still mad at Kamui. “I am an adult and I can very much take care of myself,” she replied.

“You heard the woman,” Okita said.

“I never said I needed you either.”

“Kagura, please. It’s late and Okita has a car.” She then turned to Kamui, “and you live at the opposite so for night you’ll go home quietly.” She rearranged his vest as she spoke and Kamui looked at her with so much love it made Kagura want to puke. “Let’s go now.”

Kagura said her goodbyes to her friend and brother and followed Okita reluctantly.

“Nice car,” she said as they arrived close to a black car.

He shrugged. “It’s the station’s.”

She sat down in the passenger seat and buckled the seatbelt.

“So explain me how the Tokugawa princess started dating an ex-gang member?”

Kagura snorted. “It is mystery to me too. He just suddenly appeared at Gin’s place promising he was a changed man for a girl and wanted to reconnect with me. Just turned out that girl was my best friend.” She let a moment pass before asking: “And how a new police officer got to be a bodyguard?”

He smirked. “I am just that good.”

She snorted once more. “Yeah right.”

“No really. They needed a new face that was good enough and Hijikata thought of me.”

“You’re talking to Mayora?!”

He chuckled a bit. “Can’t escape him. I’ll be on his team starting next month.”

“You must be happy then.”

It was his time to snort. Kagura couldn’t forget the many times he had pranked the older man.

Her heart clutched as the memories of the past came to her. It was then she realized she didn’t know where they were.

“Sadist,” she said, letting the old nickname escape her before she could think better, “where are we going?”

“My place.”

Kagura did a sound that was probably akin to a chicken being strangled. “And why in hell would I go to your place?”

“You don’t want to act upon the sexual tension?”

“What sexual tension?” she shrieked.

He stopped the car abruptly. Before she can once more scream her indignation, he grabbed her back of her neck kissed her.

As the kiss became more heated, she barely registered her hands grabbing his suit to bring her closer to her.

They separated only when a car honked behind them.

He smiled at her, vicious, as if she was his pray. “This sexual tension.”

He looked back at the road and resumed his driving.

She cursed him under her breath and continued to do so, even when he kissed her as soon as the door of his apartment closed behind them. She continued to curse him even when he removed her panties and without any foreplay or whatsoever shoved himself inside of her and she cursed because it shouldn’t feel so good.

She continued to curse him as he rode her to orgasm but to this point, she didn’t know if she cursed for being an asshole or she cursed him in hope that he never let her go.

-

The problem with one night stands was that they were not one night stands if it had been more than one night.

Kagura had been dead set to make it a one night stand. Even with damn smirk and his “you orgasmed more time yesterday than in your whole life, you sure you wanna give that up?” she had told him bye forever.

Or so she thought.

It was the sixth time in a month. Sixth.

She was freaking out. There were no friends and no lover but they still managed to be around each other. It made no sense that she had managed to not see him for her first two years in Tokyo to then keep stumbling on him and finishing by doing a quickie in a public bathroom.

She wanted to scream or at least talk about it to someone. But there was no way in hell she’d say anything to Gin or cherry boy Shinpachi. She was too ashamed to talk to Tae, and Kagura couldn’t step on her pride to ask Soyo, after the girl had said that maybe she never got over her middle school crush on the Sadist.

Because there was never a crush to begin with.

With all her pent-up energy, she did what she did best; kick-boxing.

And of course, he had to show up.

“Are you stalking me?” She screamed after she threw a punch at him for good measure.

“Hijitaka did say that you might be here.”

“How would he know?”

“Him and the boss are drinking buddies. Or fucking for all we know.”

She huffed and crossed her arms. “And you came because?”

His deadpan expression didn’t change but she knew the amusement in his eyes. “I need a sparing partner.”

“There is no one in the police department that can help you?”

“You could beat most of them pretty easily,” he replied in a shrug, “what, you scared?”

“No way in hell!” She knew she shouldn’t fall into his game, she knew it yet she refused to let him have the last word.

So they sparred, more violently than she ever did. So hard, that gym owner seemed a tad reticent to let him ever come again.

She had so many bruises but it was worth it. She felt so much refreshed and calm even if he was the principal source of her stress.

She went out of the locker room to see he was waiting for her. “What?”

“I’m treating you.”

“Why?”

“Can you just accept it normally for once?”

She was tempted to say no but she decided against it. “If you insist.”

They went to the next door ramen place, which she called him cheap for.

“How is it cheap with all you eat?” He replied after she ordered the mega set, with double serving of ramen, rice and gyoza. “Pig.”

“Hey! I just trained, it’s normal I’m hungry!”

“Nothing about how you eat is “normal”.”

The bickering continued and Kagura dared to think she was having a good time.

“How can you not put _shichimi_ in the sauce!” She exclaimed at one point when he started to steal her gyoza.

“I’ve been avoiding spicy things since...”

He didn’t finish the sentence and she couldn’t dare to say it either.

She had been so mad at him that she had forgot the most important thing.

He lost his sister.

She looked down at her food, not sure how to ask about it but got sidetrack when he stole another gyoza.

“Hey! I said only three!”

He shrugged and put in his mouth. “It’s my money.”

And just like that, the lighten mood was back and Kagura didn’t dare to break it.

They exited the restaurant once Kagura felt full and almost wanted to just roll back home.

“I’ll go now,” he said and she looked back at him, surprised. “What? You were expecting something?” He replied, his damn smirk in place.

“NO!” She shrieked, a bit too high to be normal.

“Even though I do want to indulge, I have to be up early tomorrow.” He paused.

Kagura started to fidget under his stare. She was about to once more scream at him but he surprised her by posing his hand on her cheek. He kissed her so softly Kagura felt it was another person altogether.

He continued to held her close as he just looked at her. So many emotions was flocking through his eyes, she couldn’t distinguish any.

Regret?

Or even love?

She blushed at the thought and he let out a soft smile.

“Watch out China, or I’ll think you’re falling for me.”

She sputtered and slapped his hand away. “Who would fall for a sadist like you?”

He smirked yet again and simply went away, raising his head in a lazy wave.

-

“You were right, I did have a crush on him in middle school,” Kagura said, as she entered her friend’s apartment, no greeting or whatsoever.

“Well hello to you too Kagura. Glad to know I was right but why don’t you sit down?” Soyo replied, unfazed and started to prepare tea and snacks the way she knew Kagura liked.

Kagura let herself fall down on her friend’s couch.

Yesterday’s... thing, she refused to call it a date, was circling in her mind and she couldn't make sense out of it. She needed to be honest with someone so she had no choice but to go to the one who had made her face the music the first time.

Soyo let the tea and macaron in front of her and sat next to Kagura. “Now, tell me what’s going on.”

“I slept with the Sa... Okita.”

“Ok, kinda forward but-“

“No, I mean, the night of the party we slept together.”

“What? It’s been a month and you’ve been keeping it from me?”

“I didn’t want to admit it!” She then paused. “What that it?”

“You are an adult Kagura. You can sleep with whoever you want. I just thought I would’ve been told.” Soyo was pouting and Kagura sighed.

“I’m sorry...”

“And?”

“And what?”

“You slept together, and after?”

“We slept again, and again, and again... and again... an-“

“I get it. After all the sex?”

Kagura started fidgeting. She thought the sex would be the hardest part to say. “Yesterday, we actually trained together and we went out to eat after...” Soyo stayed silent, letting Kagura continue at her own pace. “And we talked, not talked talked but it was fun. And he kissed me goodnight?”

“You don’t sound sure here.”

“I don’t know. He did kiss but I’m not sure why.”

“Are you really that unsure?”

“Enlighten me,” she huffed.

“It seems to me that he likes you.”

“What? That sadist? After all those years of silence?”

“Did I told you why I did what I did on the day of the party?”

To that, Kagura looked at her friend and slowly shook her head no.

“I first met him during a reunion that my brother had. I was crying in the next room because I had a huge fight about Kamui and I.”

“I thought your brother was ok with it!”

“He wants me happy. So what makes me happy makes him happy. But when I mentioned him, he actually checked his background. Actually some of the group’s geezer looked at his background and Brother got uneasy. We talked about it afterward but on the spot, I was broken. Okita happened to be brought up to explain his mission as a bodyguard and saw me crying.

I vented to him, saying it was unfair that I couldn’t date whoever I wanted and everyone deserve a second chance. I just needed to let it all out, you know. Then I started to describe Kamui... He laughed saying it sounded pretty similar to his childhood friend.

I started asking about said childhood friend, who she was, etc and it didn’t take me long to connect the dots. When I asked where was this childhood friend of his, he said she was somewhere in his city and his face got so sad just long enough for me to understand he wanted to reconnect with you.

Of course I knew the story on your side. I thought maybe he regretted how he left so I scheme it.”

Kagura took a time to register all of this. “So he didn’t know at the party?”

“That you would be his date? No clue.”

Kagura stayed silent and started to gulp down all the macaron and tea in front of her.

“I think you should ask him for his version of the story.” Soyo finished by say.

Kagura continued to stay silent. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to feel about any of this.

Ok, maybe she did had a crush on him when she was in middle school. But he was the only boy around her that didn’t treat her like a child or actually hurt her when they were fighting. Not that she was a masochist, but it was pretty offensive when people didn’t give their all out because she was 12 year old girl but still could knock unconscious any adult men.

He never seemed to care though. Even before, he just would let her go out and would give back as much as she did. The insults were just a part the game they were playing.

Kagura stood up. “I’m going to see him.”

“Good.”

“Now.” She started walking to the door before Soyo caught her wrist.

“Now? You don’t even know if he’s at work.”

Kagura paused. True, she couldn’t just wait in front of his apartment like a creeper.

“Lucky for you, I have his phone number.”

“You do?”

“I knew it would become handy. So you had sex all those times and didn’t even had his phone number?”

“Shut up. I accept that I may have feeling yesterday. It was the next step.”

Soyo could only roll her eyes.

-

“We need to talk,” was the first thing she said as she walked in his apartment. She focus on going to the couch and sat down. No she was not thinking about how they had sex few weeks back in the entrance. And on the same couch she was sitting on. And on the kitchen table And-

“By how red your face is, you are sure you just want to talk?”

She threw at him a cushion but said nothing more. After a few minutes passed, he sighed.

“What do you want China?”

“What do I...? What do you want?” She said, voice louder that she had anticipated. “Why the sex and the date and the kiss when you ignored me for four years?” Her voice cracked at the end but she kept her eyes on him.

A chance she did, because she could see his stoic mask slowly slipping.

“I was hurting.”

Kagura scoffed and he glared at her.

“When she... when Mitsuba died, I felt like she took part of me with her. Suddenly going back to town, to the places that she should be there...”

Kagura bit her bottom lip from saying anything without thinking. She slowly said: “but you didn’t have to leave me.”

It sounded better in her head. Now she sounded weak and needy and that the last thing she wanted to show him. She stood up and was ready to escape this situation but he grabbed her wrist and pulled her toward him.

She landed on his chest and his arms circled her, refusing to let her go.

She growled. “Sadist...”

“No you started this, we’re going to finish it. Just...” He squeezed her one more before letting his chin rest on her head.

She started crying and she hated it. “Stupid Sadist...” she mumbled over and over again but didn’t fight her way out of the embrace.

When her sobs subdued, he said: “I thought I just needed time away from everyone. Kondo, Hijitaka, the town, you... Everything somewhat reminded me of her. University was the best, it was far, no one knew my sister just died, I could back pretending everything was ok.

It was not. I was in bad place, China, believe me when I say that.

But a couple months turned to a year, and a year turned to two, than I was graduating and that’s when I met Kondo again.

He reminded me why I wanted to an officer in the first place. He made me reconnect with the mayonnaise bastard and I was able to face him without seeing her ghost all over the place.

I went back to town, was able to visit her grave. I thought you’d be there but the boss told me you were in the city for university.

He chewed me off a lot on this since everyone and their mother knew about your crush on me.”

“I did not!”

He ignored her. “So I thought it was fate to not meet again. Not even a month later I saw you in the train station.”

“You saw me?” She moved to look at him and he smiled at her.

“Who knew a flat chest brat would turn out ok.”

“Fuck you, I am delicious.”

“That you are.”

She punched him on the side and he laughed.

“I knew how you were about people leaving you, I never thought you’d forgive me.”

“I didn’t forgive you.”

“Oh really?”

“Not until you grovel at me feet and ask for the forgiveness of the great and mighty Kagura.”

He spun her around and got down on knee. She turned red as he took one foot and kissed above the sock where her skin was exposed.

“Is that one of your kink?”

She tried to kick him in the face but he grabbed her ankle and make her lose balance. She stubbled on the couch and he quickly pined her down.

“I am not letting you go now.”

Not now, not never, Kagura can hear in his tone.

She put her arms around and pull him down for a kiss.

After all, she most likely forgave him when he told her: “wow China, a monster will always be a monster”

Maybe she was a masochist after all.


	2. Part 2 - Sougo

Closer  
Pt2

Sougo was barely 5 when their parents died.

He didn’t remember anything before that. He clearly remembered one night how he had cried for their mother and his sister’s devastated expression.

It was the last time he ever asked for their mother. After all, he had his sister and he never wanted to see her cry again.

-

Sougo and Mitsuba moved in with their father’s sister. She was not bad per se, but having to take care of kids was the last thing on her list so she let them pretty much without oversight.

That’s how Mitsuba became much more of a mother than a sister.

When he got into fights with other kids, she was the one who scolded him and mended his injuries. She was the one who would help him with his homework and made sure that he ate.

She was the one who started taking part time jobs at 15 to pay for Sougo’s kendo classes at the Shimura’s dojo. Their aunt already payed for their school, clothes and food therefore Mitsuba took care of every extra to not add more of a burden.

Sougo wanted to refuse at first but he himself knew that kendo was the only thing that made him focus his overflow of energy and it was the best way to calm him.

It was also when he met Kondo and Hijitaka. At the time, they were respectively in 3rd and 2nd year of high school and they seemed so cool in Sougo’s 9 year old eyes.

Kondo is an over positive idiot but Sougo respected him for his values and started to claim that him too will be a policeman, just like Kondo was aiming.

It also around that time that Mitsuba, who only had eyes to protect her little brother, started looking at other men, or more one man in particular.

Sougo never missed the blush on his sister’s face or the longing face whenever Hijitaka was near. And all of the sudden, Sougo took a disliking in Hijitaka and found multiple way how to trick the older man.

Mitsuba always said it was cute and laughed about it every time she caught him but never scold him or deny her affection.

-

Sougo was 16 when he met Kagura.

She had moved from China to live with the Boss, who was also his freshly graduated homeroom teacher that Sougo refused to call “Professor Sakata”. They told Sougo that she moved with the Boss for family reasons. Nothing more was explained and Sougo gave little attention to her when he went to the Shimura’s dojo where she was often seen lounging, either with the Shimura’s kids either trying to train.

At this point, he lived in an apartment with Mitsuba, who was working full time. She was trying to gather enough money to let him go to university. She also refused him to take a part time job as he was “enough busy with his kendo club, plus extra training at the Shimura’s” or so she said.

She was also dating the mayonnaise bastard, to Sougo’s misery, who was training to be a policeman in the big city with Kondo.

Sougo was jealous. He quickly wanted to join them, so he indulged her and focused on school and kendo.

The first time Sougo actually acknowledge Kagura’s existence, was when she was holding the bamboo sword the wrong way and none of the Shimuras were there to correct her.

He corrected her, called her an idiot for good measure, and continued his own training.

“This is so boring!” She exclaimed after minutes.

“Then go away.”

“Fight me!”

He looked at her, incredulous.

“What? You scared to lose against a little girl?”

Her tone was so mocking that he cracked. He had the intension to knock her once, make her cry thus making her learn the lesson to not challenge the best Kendo man in town.

Instead, he was surprised by her strength in her swings. Her form was all over the place but she had power and Sougo was inwardly impressed.

“Sougo, what are you doing?!” Came the voice of the Shimura’s son.

“Fuck off Four eyes! I got him!” Kagura replied and she threw the bamboo sword.

She punched him in the stomach, a punch that no normal 12 year old girl should be able to do.

So naturally, Sougo punched her back and the Shimura’s son was panicking.

At the end, it was Gintoki that separates them.

“I know she’s strong but she’s still 12,” Shimura Senior told him as his daughter mended his injury (the crazy bitch had bitten him!)

“I don’t care. She punches seriously, I punch seriously,” deadpanned Sougo.

“But it is expected of a boxer’s daughter,” the Shimura daughter said and that took Sougo’s attention.

“Boxer?”

“You didn’t know? Her father is a renowned boxer. He’s currently in an international tour, that’s why she’s staying with Gintoki.”

It doesn’t explain anything, Sougo wanted to complain but decided against it.

The next day, he discovered where she trained in kickboxing and demanded a rematch which she gladly accepted.

-

At this point, everyone and their mother knew about China’s huge crush on Sougo but he did as if he hadn’t notice.

He was about to graduate high school and she was about to graduate her 2nd year of middle school. They continued to train and bicker but Sougo ignored when she blushed or let her gaze long a bit too much.

He was flattered, in a way, but she was too young and he wanted to explore his possibilities.

The bad thing about a small town though was that everyone knew each other so Sougo could not foul around as much as he’d like. If he did, somebody would know and she would know and she would most likely cry to the Boss and an angry mob would come after him.

He couldn’t wait to go to university in the city.

“But won’t you miss this town?” She asked him a week before he leaves, when they are walking back home after a kickboxing session.

“It’s not like I’ll be far away. It’s two hours in train.”

“You’ll come back every weekend?”

“Just enough to kick your ass.”

She punched him on shoulder. “You wish.”

They continued to walk in silence until they were at the crossroad where they went different ways.

“Sadist...”

She shifted on her feet and looked down, making his heart thumped loudly. He started to wonder if he’d actually be able to reject her if she actually confessed.

No you won’t, a part of his brain told him.

“Sadist...” she looked back at him with her blue eyes full of confidence, “You better not slack off when you’re away.”

He laughed and flickered her forehead. “I can tell you the same, China.”

She looked at him, full blush on and Sougo was tempted to kiss her, just to see her reaction.

No, he could never reject her.

He slowly walked back. “See ya, China.”

He turned and gave a lazy wave.

“See ya, Sougo.”

He did as if he hadn't hear her.

-

It was cancer.

We are optimist about the chemotherapy and she’s young, only 25, the doctors kept repeating.

Sougo wasn’t sure if they were trying to convince him or themselves.

“I’m okay, Sougo,” Mitsuba kept saying when he visited her at the hospital.

“But you are alone.” He was in the city and that idiot Hijitaka was still trying to get a transfer in their old town.

“I am not alone. Everyone has been helping me, our aunt, the Shimuras, Gintoki and Kagura... Of course I am sad my favourite boys are out of town but I know you are doing your best. It would break my heart if you’d quit your dream just to be by my side Sougo. I mean it.”

He knew she did. Because she had been supporting him since day one.

His eyes fell on the ring at her left hand’s ring finger.

He didn’t care that she was getting married to the stupid Hijitaka, he wanted her in that white dress, like she was supposed to.

She caught his gaze and smiled. “Toshi proposed to get married anyway and do the ceremony when I get out of treatment.”

“And you said no?”

“Actually...”

“Really?”

“He already signed his part and we only need a witness. I don’t want any other names but yours.”

Sougo cannot help but smile at his sister radiant face as she let out the document. He didn’t say a word as he filled in his part.

“I’ll bring it to the ward office today.”

“You don’t have to...”

“I want to.”

A few days later, Sougo received a photo from his sister. It her crying and smiling face with a paper saying “Acceptance of marriage”.

-

It was already a bad day, he was late for his class and had no time for whoever was calling.

“What?” He replied on the phone.

“Sougo Okita?”

“Yeah.”

“This is the general hospital. We are sorry to say that your sister, Mitsuba Okita, deceased this morning at...”

Sougo’s world turned black.

-

He showed no emotion during the funerals or the reading of the will.

Sougo could not look at Hijitaka in the face but he could guess that the bastard didn’t look like much.

Two weeks ago, she had been good. She had been laughing and had showed Sougo the choice they had for their possible new house.

How can everything turn wrong in two weeks?

But Sougo hated himself even more because he hadn’t been there for her. In her final moments, she had been alone.

He stared at the family stone with her name freshly written. He was feeling sick.

He slowly went out the graveyard. He first tried to go to the apartment but knowing it would be empty and dusty, most her belonging were at the hospital anyway, he turned and headed back to the train station.

In the corner of his eyes, Sougo saw a flash of red.

Kagura stood there, eyes puffy from what he could only imagine be her crying. The only thing Sougo remembered was his last conversation with Mitsuba about his love life. She had kept hinting that she couldn’t wait to “have a beautiful sister-in-law” and how Kagura was turning more beautiful every day.

He couldn’t face her. Not now.

Without exchanging words, he left.

-

“Hijitaka.”

“Sougo.”

It had been two years more or less since the last time he had seen him.

“Don’t stand there, Sougo, sit with us!” Kondo exclaimed and Sougo obliged. “Toshi had nothing to do today so I thought he could join us.”

Kondo’s boisterous voice loosen the tension but Sougo still felt uncomfortable.

Kondo explained to Hijitaka how he met Sougo in the new police recruits ceremony and how they reconnected.

Hijitaka barely said a word and Kondo continued his monologue, switching to how Sougo had finished first of his class to rant about the beautiful Tae that still didn’t want to marry him.

As the night went on, Sougo could almost feel like he actually belonged there and cracked a few jokes on Kondo and Hijitaka’s expense.

“I’m glad you’re okay, Sougo.”

Sougo blinked but could swore he could see his sister behind Hijikata, smiling at him. He smiled back at her. “I’m surprised you didn’t die on mayonnaise overdose.”

And just like that, Sougo found back a part of him.

-

He went back in town and it was weird as nothing has changed.

The fish seller at the corner of the street recognized him and gave him a few things for free. The old lady next to his aunt gave him tomatoes from her garden as she seen him and started trying to matchmake him with her granddaughter.

Her aunt, who never had looked like she cared much, gave him a bear hug and cried a little.

After they settled down inside with tea and make him relate what happened and the few years they lost contact, she asked him if he wanted to look into few things his sister left behind.

He found himself ok to do so.

Later on, he passed by the Shimura’s dojo where Shimura Senior made him train against Shimura junior and Shimura’s daughter gave them tea.

He stoped next door to the Boss’ place.

“Oh Souchiro! You’re alive!”

“It’s Sougo.”

Gintoki simply shrugged and let him inside. He kept glancing around until he saw the golden belt and a picture of Kagura with it.

“Impress, isn’t? She won the junior regionals. It was expected.” He sounded like a proud dad.

“She’s continuing pro?” Sougo asked before he can stop himself.

“Yes and no. She’s unsure. She still does tournaments and she’s gaining a bit of attention but she’s also in universities in humanities.” Gintoki shrugged once more and sat down.

“University?”

“Same as yours.”

They’ve been in the same city for two years without him knowing. It sat wrong with him but didn’t dwell on the feeling.

“You broke her heart, you know that?”

Sougo hadn't expect a direct confrontation so he took his time to respond. “I can imagine.”

“You didn’t have to break off with everyone.”

“It felt like the only solution at the time,” he replied honestly.

Gintoki sighed. “Just don’t break her heart twice.”

Sougo almost wanted to ask what did it mean but decided against it. Instead he asked about his previous classmates and the conversation stayed pleasant.

It was only when he left the house, and did a quick google search on her whereabouts that he started to dwell on the words.

-

It was a thing to see her picture but it was a complete other thing to see her in real.

She had turned beautiful, not that he would ever tell her in the face.

She was standing on the train’s platform, focuses on her phone, a gym bag on her shoulder. He wanted to call her out but he didn’t find the courage. Would she be mad to see him? Happy?

Would she gave him the same lovesick look?

At the end, he didn’t dare to say anything and just watched her like a creeper.

-

Yes, he had been stalking her Instagram for the past months, but he had no clue she was friends with “princess” Soyo.

She seemed as shocked as him when she saw him, her eyes flickering in emotions.

He mused for few second if he should just kiss her, just for her reaction.

Instead he went: “Wow China...” Her eyes winded and a blush was on her face in a second and Sougo knew that she still felt something for him. It was all he needed to know, so he smirked and added: “A monster will always be a monster.”

The red was now definitively anger and Soyo had to hold her down.

It was the missing piece. Sougo found himself grinning.

He was never letting her go again.

 

 

> And I can't stop  
>  No, I can't stop

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


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